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My first introduced to the concept of Dommes formally about three years ago. I knew the word from all the documentaries, but in the modern world, it has progressed to have its meaning. Anyone who studies words knows that their meaning changes with the fluctuation of society. A full-time slave differs from play slaves in what they desire from a relationship. Dommes are a concept that part-time players rarely encounter. When people think of a dominant Submissive relationship, they often think of the Hollywood version. A true submissive desires a loving Domme who demands a high degree of worship.
The slave initially was without a full-time Domme. He felt lost in the club scene of being used by several people for their pleasure. Submissive desires to be used for a dominants leisure, but the long term craves the emotional bond. Over a year, we delved into the BDSM club scene that he was trapped. Through many different discussions, we began to work on what he desired from a dominant woman. The slave had been masked and caged by several women over the years. Our discussions of the difference between a dominant woman and a Domme taught me things about myself. He wanted to be part of a household of either one woman or several, and what he was willing to share their attention he wanted to be able to work towards specific and more intense goals with time.
Our conversations guided him to establish a relationship with two dominant women, though one was closer to submissive. This relationship was fleeting, but it gave him a glimpse of being under the control of a pure Domme. After the COVID shutdown of his area life presented an opportunity for a true one on one relationship. Unfortunately, our conversations have taken a hiatus due to the complications of life.
A Domme is a woman who desires a full-time live-in slave. This BDSM can be a sexual relationship, but that is not a necessity—a full-time submissive gains pleasure from servitude with the sexual release a special treat. There is a difference between men and women's submission. Women tend to crave a higher degree of cuddle time, wherein men lean towards harsher treatment. The difference between a play dominant woman and a Domme lies in what relationship she craves. For my friend, he wanted a Domme that set increased levels of demand. He desired to be challenged until each level achieved.
A Domme can be sadistic or sensual in her style of domination, and a submissive will be attracted to that style. This relationship is not about abuse or force; it is about developing a deeper understanding of what each person wants. Not all dominant women want to be Dommes; the degree of commitment is significant. Many submissives only wish to be play partners; they want to have their freedom from daily interaction. The interaction of a Domme is a concept that goes back to Roman slavery. A woman who runs a household that is strict with those under her control.
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Sissification is a fetish that has been documented since Roman times. It is one of the few fetishes that is depicted in writing and art. Men being forced to dress up in women’s clothing is often used as a comedy entourage. We see it in modern cinema in such things as Mrs. Doubtfire and Tootsie. I have heard people say this is something new due to a few celebrities that became transgender that is a misunderstanding of the sissification fetish. Sissification is about control and domination. The fantasy or fetish is about a woman making them do things they do not want to do. Men that are into sissification do not want to get dressed up on their own. They are not into wearing women’s clothing, makeup or doing women things because they want to be women. These men desire a woman who forces them to learn how to put makeup on or to wear a dress in public. A typical fantasy is to be created into a woman to the level that the people around them would never know it was them. Sissies are not gay they do not go out and find men to have sexual relations with. These men want to put in uncomfortable situations involving men but controlled by women. The sexual aspect seems to be less important to men with this fetish than the dressing up. Most men that I have talked to about sissification are drawn to things that are traditional women only. Panties and bras are where a lot of men start with when it comes to sissies. Red lipstick is often the first choice when a fantasy involves makeup though eye makeup is a favorite. I have never read or heard of a fantasy that involves pantsuits; it is always about dresses, skirts, and high heels. Nylons of all kinds from pantyhose to thigh-highs are favorite especially the act of learning how to popularly wear them. With sissification, it is about pushing limitations and then pushing them more. Of all the fetishes I am writing about this year sissification is the easiest one for me to tap into. The scenes come quickly to me during the writing process. I enjoy laying out situations that talk about pretty clothes. The emotional pull of a woman forcing a man into uncomfortable situations is something I enjoy describing. Dominant women are always the center of any sissification scene. Men want women who are alpha personalities in every way. There is a difference between mean women and sweet mean women. Some men enjoy a woman that is pure evil forcing them to wear everything that was off limits. An exciting thing about sissification is that I have yet to hear a man say his fantasy or fetish started late in life. Sissification appears to be something they are drawn into at an early age. This is one fetish that can be dependent on a kindling moment but there are plenty of men that are attracted to, and they do not know why. For erotic writing, there is enough variation to make the storytelling portion easy and fun.
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Humiliation fetish is often misunderstood by the general population. Most of us do not enjoy the flush and adrenaline rush that comes when we emotionally feel humiliated. We all know what humiliation feels like but describing to someone is often tricky. The majority of the world tries to avoid embarrassment we want to think that we are in control of a situation. Men lie about the size of their penis to someone to try and make themselves feel better. Women lie about their weight to make themselves seem more appealing. Both of these lies are easy for someone to know they are not true. The majority of people have a natural reaction of not wanting our flaws highlighted by another person. For some people there can be a situation where they are entirely humiliated, and at that moment it is a horrible event for them. Psychologically something happens with time these people start to crave the recreation of those emotions. Human sexuality is odd at times we take things that were devastating at the moment of occurrence and begin to embrace them. When trying to understand humiliation knowing that the mind starts to crave what once it hid from help in that process.
The reason most people with this fetish do not know how to explain it to another person is the physical reaction we have to a mental response differs from person to person. For most of us, humiliation is something we avoid at all costs there are some people who go through an event in their lives that changes them. It is not that they do not feel the same way we experience. They just embrace a situation for some reason it becomes exciting. Almost everyone I speak to has one incident in their life that starts them down a road of finding humiliation to be exciting. Through the years I have had heard stories from girls beating boys up, having someone make fun of a man's penis size, to a range of other scenarios.
The challenge for me as a writer when it comes to humiliation is slowing the scene down and expressing what is happening inside the character's mind. The actions of another character are of less importance than the reaction of the person of impact. There are physical responses to the humiliation the flush of the skin, cold flashes, breath coming in shallow intakes, a rapid heartbeat, the rush in one's ears just to name a few. Physical reactions are only one aspect of the humiliation. There is also the emotional response that often defies logic. When a person is in a state of fear they will say things that other people do not understand. Humiliation scenes require thinking through each of these reactions and understanding that people all react differently from situation to situation. When creating a scenario about the fetish side of humiliation, there has also to be a sexual aspect brought into the scene. As a writer I also want my reader to have empathy for my character; there needs to be an emotional pull from reacher to the character.
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JOI(jerk off instructions) is a fetish that I stumbled onto many years ago. Men enjoy having a woman take control in a sensual manner. Like many fetishes, the actions of the act are small compared to the emotional roller-coaster and that is the appeal. One of the major issues I see and expressed to me is the rush of interaction between two people. In today's world we are overrun with stimulation we get so quickly that slowing life down to enjoy each moment is something we crave. Many of the fetishes that I write about or discuss are about slowing down our times together and extending an encounter beyond the moment. Sexual relations are how we connect no matter how if it is a man and woman or another combination. While we think of JOI as a male and female connection, it can be two men or even a woman teased over and over. When I write about JOI the emotions I attempt to convey are those of building of the climax. Not having control is something a man enjoys when his whole life is about always being in control. In sexual relations trust is the essential part of having a wonderful relationship that grows with time. If a partner understands that it is not about the action, but the tease fetishes become less intense. I have always been an alpha personality so taking control is something I enjoy that is what makes this fun for me. I like to make people behave in ways I want them to in person and even more so in my writing. Women who take control are easy to write about for me. It is not that I do not like men I enjoy men’s company more than I do women. No one wants a woman who finds fault in every action. Well maybe a few people, but they are rare. There is a difference between being a dominant take control type of person and being a nasty human. JOI is generally sensual domination; it is about giving someone pleasure just controlling when they get it and the intensity of the moment. Writing about JOI presents a challenge because it is not about the physical reactions of the people involved. This is a mental game between partners where one person gives control of their pleasure while maintaining the physical touch themselves. JOI is generally playful in action. The teasing of a partner and then followed by a taunting of not giving the person what they think they want at that moment. With everyone, there is a fine line between extending an orgasm and ruining one. With JOI we want to allow someone the pleasure after building it all up to a point where their nerves are super sensitive to all touch. When JOI is done correctly, the slightest stimulation will send a person into a frenzy of multiple orgasms. Fetishes are what make us each, and that is what makes sex fun.
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Writing about fetishes always comes with an inherent risk
of not getting it right. While each person who has a fetish brings their
understanding and desires to the table, there are always some basic guidelines.
People who do not participate in fetishes, commonly misunderstand them. I have spent the last ten years learning
about and talking to people who have the fetishes I include in my writing.
These are everyday people the majority of which are average people you would
meet on the street. Their lives are not taken over by their sexuality just now,
and then they like to delve into things that can make others feel
uncomfortable. Sexuality in a lot of ways is about power control one person
having it and another person giving it. People like to throw the term BDSM
(bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism)around in ways that do not fit the
definition, and this is one of those times. I will save a discussion about BDSM
for a different time. This discussion is about SPH (small penis humiliation)
and why a man might find it exciting. Small penis humiliation is a term that is
self-explanatory; it means making fun of a man because his genitalia is
substandard when compared to the average size of the rest of the male
population. SPH is a fundamental power exchange role play; it is a man giving
up power to a woman. It is all about the rush of adrenaline from having a woman
he finds desirable to express her dissatisfaction with his maleness. I have
talked to a relatively large amount of men over the years who see this type of
play sexually arousing. Some of these men had a situation while they were
younger and were humiliated by females during adolescence. Others have grown up
seeing men around them with larger penis sizes. There are some men who have
been cheated on by lovers due to the perception of genital size. Despite
popular opinion, there are even men with larger penises who engage in sph role
play.
These men are not a
masochist; they do not engage in any kind of pain play well at least generally.
Every rule I will go ever throughout about any fetish someone out there will
break it and call me on it. That is okay the thing about fetishes is they are what
the person that engages in them wants them to be. To discuss anything we must
talk generalities it gets too complicated otherwise. Small penis humiliation is
about mind games it is about finding some smidgen of truth then pushing that to
the extreme. The more truthful the game, the higher the adrenaline dump,
therefore the more significant the pleasure reward. We are all addicts in that
we all want the drugs our brains produce and give to us. Every fetish is about
getting those chemicals to a high degree. Life events are what triggers how a
person obtains the triggers to make the brain give pleasure rewards. SPH is not
about being hateful to a person it is at its core about power exchange.
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Okay we have all had the Miley Cyrus incident shoved down our throat most of the day. I am curious how everyone feels/thinks about the whole thing. I work in the sex industry so the fact that it was sexual and or taboo related really didn't affect me. The fact that it was completely without taste or even any form of art really annoyed me. The fact that she is allowing others to use her for their own agenda is just a huge disappointment in her. She actually does have talent but instead of that being highlighted they are just putting her out there in more and more crappy situations. This is the one thing about women that tends to piss me off when they act stupid and do stupid things for the sake of getting attention. So tell me what you think of the whole thing?
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SOOOOO I had an incident come up today which to be honest I find beyond
funny. So I have a double dong movie that I shot with another girl one of many I
can assure you. I get nailed on how can you claim to be a femdom if you are
taking a double dong. First off I have lived this life since I was 17 I am now
39 you can do the math on that. I have played with men, women, threesomes and
even foursomes. I adore my "job" because it is something that is such a part of
my life. I am naturally dominate by nature. I enjoy making a man beg and plead
and teasing him I enjoy forcing him to do those things and many others as well.
That does not mean I do not like cock and it does not mean that I do not enjoy
women. I live my life and I let people be part of it. I refuse to be cookie cut
by other people who pretend to be something. I am on the back side of this I
know that a large number of girls are fakes they have never dominated a man they
have never held a pair of balls in their hands and watched a mans eyes dart up
and down felt his pulse quicken through those balls because part of him was
afraid and part of him was way too excited. I am me if you do not like me hey
that is fine I do not require people to like me I do not define myself through
other people's approval. I am a person that has always set my own way even as a
child and I will always do that. If you want a person that will come to
understand you will laugh and joke with you one second then look deep into your
eyes and make you beg that is me. I find enjoyment in life I refuse to be a
bitch just because I read a book and that was what the character was. I can and
do control many a man through being myself.
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I have a ton of things to get completed so I am working hard on that. My goal for this weekend is to get all my listings made. To get all my picture sets and movies ready to put up on the site. Do make sure you are checking back because new things will be going live all the time and you do not want to miss out on anything new!
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Had a great couple of days out with friends and family. Went metal detecting with an awesome ex porn star friend. It was hot and we got super dirty but had a blast she is now the queen of pull tabs. Now it is cooling off here so may be able to get out in the yard and do some real work.... LOL So I am new to this site come stop by say hello and lets have some fun.
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