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Nurse Hot Head Handles Horny Mom Dec 08, 2014
Ok – I’m looking for new additions as your #1 Fan, so I am posting a true story from today in my clinic and I’ll try to keep it brief.

So this afternoon, in my clinic, a hot and horny mommy comes in. She’s got an agenda and an issue with the hygiene of the youngest of her brood. At first, she tells me he has a cough but quickly moves the story along to describe how neglects to “clean himself”.

Before I can ask, she orders junior on the exam table, unzips his jeans and opens his boxer slit hole to show off his very outwardly normal looking and little dick.

Normally this is where I step in and take over. Not this time: she begins to massage the skin of his cock to show me a thin barely noticeable line of smegma under his foreskin. I offer her a pair of gloves to at least pretend to do something “clinical” and not just for the sake of touching this pint sized weenie until it grows.

As I see what is clearly pre cum, I say to her, “I get it, Ma’am; you can stop now”.

She insists he needs help – and continues to jerk his Johnson, stroking him, up and down, rolling his foreskin down the head of his woody until he’s giggly and just seconds away from – well – more than I personally care to witness.

Sure, I’ve got the best seat in the house, but without popcorn and better medical coverage, I’m not that interested, for goodness sake! Besides, I like those Big White IMAX 3D Monster cocks best!!

So I tell her, “you know, he’s really old enough to (stroke or) *clean* (wink, wink) himself”.

This gal was pretty frustrated. I’m seeing and reading, “Piss off, Doc” on her face and I think, "this lady is mad as fuck with me now"! All she wanted to do was show off her “how to jack off a puny pecker” skills.

I’m pretty god dammed good at giving hand jobs too, if I must say. And I’m better equipped: been doing it longer AND I know when to use latex & lube – or my lips and pussy if the circumstances are just right for all parties concerned.

So the diagnosis in this case: Tinea cruris aka “Jock itch” (bka “itchy weenie” – and very easy to treat).

I write a quick prescription and translate into her language for our young patient to apply this topical treatment and come back to see me in two weeks.

If all goes well, he’ll show us both how well he’s learned to prime his pecker. This is the ultimate in Edge Play, if you ask me…. Just stroke yourself in front of two women, Buddy… using latex (or not) and a little moisturizing, antifungal cream – then stop just before you spray us both with your hot, sticky wad of cum.

Once you’re done, feel welcomed to call my name again and again, as you need an Apple everyday! 


What He Wants Nov 16, 2014
It's pretty sweet when the phone rings and it's someone who wants to be friends - wink wink. Friendly calls take priority over phone sex calls anyday! I'd rather be considered a friend or a girlfriend to a guy (or girl) and as the REAL girlfriend - giving the whole girlfriend experience gfe of touching and holding and kissing me - or as a friend to just sit back and chat with.

Have a phone sex chat with a pathetic cock holding wanker who yearns for tasty ass girl like me? I think not.  I'm their goddess. Their princess. And just a their friend who they can never ever fuck under any circumstance. Not even for a quickie phone sex tryst with a girl whose just friends first and possibly more later....

Tiny Penis Too Small for Treatment Jan 01, 2014
Somedays, I can only laugh at my patients problems (on the inside)....

I had an early 30's guy come in to the clinic last week. He clearly has some undisclosed issues, but I'll be there for him as much as I can.

So he came to the clinic last week, complaining of a rash on his pecker. I've been doing this work long enough to figure out most genitalia and dermatology issues "lickety split".

"Does this rash hurt and do you masturbate a lot?", I asked.

"No, it doesn't and yes," he said, shamefully, "I do".

He came with labs from the other clinic and he was really worried that his penis rash is herpes. I told him it could be syphilis, herpes, warts, an allergy, jock itch, five issues on my immediate differential diagnosis list of penile rashes.

"Do you want to show me?", I query.

(I'm cracking up on the inside at this young white man, because, I know he didn't think the older, sultry, sexy, pouty lipped, black woman was gonna look at his slim Jim).

So he agrees to show me his rash.

I summon my assistant (so I wont be accused of rape) and proceed to order him to stand on the exam table step, drop his pants, hold up his shirt.

When out pops his micro penis, friction burns and all....I think he's playing a joke. I'm thinking, they've installed cameras in my exam room and I'm on Candid Camera..... God, I want to laugh.

So despite the fact that his rash is clearly not herpetic, non vesicular, non painful...no clusters.... I collect a specimen.

I'm an evil, sadistic nurse practitioner...so I show my assistant his cock. She tried not to laugh, but as his circumcised wood is getting harder, now erect and it's barely palm sized, we're very amused, making sly eyes at each other - who gives a fuck what he thinks??

I ask again with consternation, "how often do you masturbate? You've got to cut that out.....", I tell him.

I begin to scrape his Jr. Johnson for fluid, asking, "does this hurt". Still not a flinch. "How about now?"

When he says, "No", I begin rubbing harder, until his flesh is red...but still no fluid comes out....

So that was last week. Today he returned for the results.

When I told him NOTHING came of the test, he was surprised. (I don't know why.... he's not getting any ass, only Palmolive, LOLOL....)

He said, "I still have the rash. It's not any better".

Again, I ask... "Do you want me to look at it again?" I'm hoping for god sake he says, no...

"Yes, please..."

"Ok". I start donning my gloves and pretty sure he's thinking it's just me and him this time. HELL NO!

I'm thinking, if it's penile flat warts we can use a topical Imiquimod solution for a few nights.

This time I summon a student to assist me. I love making the assistants blush - They all suck random dicks anyway, so at least this time they get to see a random dick in a clinical setting.

Again, I tell him to stop touching his cock so much. Use Ky Jelly. Wash his undies separately and I give him medication for a tinea type jock itch, plus a urology / dermatology referral. "*This is too small to treat" I tell him. (I can hear my student assistant laugh under her breath).

In the end, he was happy. Enough to ask, "can I have sex without a condom now?"

What a fucking idiot!! The rash was still present. He was already concerned that he has cooties. Who the hell is gonna want to fuck his micro peenie with satellite lesions and friction burns?

No. I told him not to have any sex at all and come see me next week.

What will I do? I'll see if the treatment works, did he have a chance to see the specialist and what improvement has he noticed, if any.

I'm gonna see him alone next time and jack him off myself - with no assistant present - so he can claim I raped him if he chooses.

Why would he? Because I plan to have his ass (literally) at the same time.

I'll show him how to wank quickly and gently plus since we keep Ky in the office, I'll use a dollop on my latex clad palms. Just when he least expects it, I'll penetrate his tight white ass and watch him squirt some jism.

"Shhhhhhh"....he better not say a word. He better not moan.

This is gonna be fun. Stay tuned for the racket and noise that will surely emanate from behind my closed exam room door.